Parent Effectiveness Training

The Gordon model is a communication model for the solution of conflicts, the first time by the U.S. psychologist Thomas Gordon in his book Family Conference ( original title: Parent effectiveness training) has been described. The work was published in 1970 and is available in German language already in the 46th edition before (1989). The Gordon model is based on the client-centered psychotherapy, which was founded by Carl Rogers.

Gordon's central categories

Active listening Active listening ( empathic listening ) describes the ability, opinions and feelings of group members to reflect. An important goal of active listening is to guide the group member or the child to understand their own problems and to derive solutions to problems themselves. An important element of this is what is said to repeat in their own words.

I-messages, I messages are neutral and objective conclusions about which tells the speaker to the addressee something about yourself. This may be a statement about a feeling or a state (eg, "I 'm too tired to play something " ) or it may describe the impact it has had a course of action of the addressee to the speaker or may have (eg "If you throw sand out of the sandbox on my runner, I need a time to bring to brush him and I do not like ").

Switching The goal of I-messages it can be to convey a child with a problem so that it recognizes the problem and perhaps emotionally recognizes as an issue. If a child has accepted a problem as an issue, is active listening the way to solve problems. The change from I-messages to active listening is called switching.

Defeat lots conflict resolution this category - also win-win conflict resolution - the Gordon model goes back to those developed by John Dewey ' six steps to creative resolution of conflicts '.

The behavior window This concept is used to classify acceptance and problem ownership. If a behavior indeed for the observing parent acceptable, but for the child, the problem is with the child and the approach is " active listening ". If the behavior is unacceptable for the parent, a distinction is made between need conflict and conflict of values ​​. In case of a conflict need the parent can communicate through " I-messages " his needs. In the case of a values ​​conflict, the problem is that the parent can make the child of course no legitimate interest. In this case, "powerless " ways of resolving conflicts are recommended.

Follow-on

1993 Thomas Gordon published the follow-on, the new family conference: educating children to punish without. Was the main concern in the first work, " the resolution of conflicts between parents and child," Gordon shows in the new book on alternatives to punitive upbringing.